Dear Mark Schwann: Re: This Season.

Dear Mark Schwann,

Don't get me wrong dude, you know I love you. My love was obvious on the OTH set tour (I may or may not have jumped up and down and squeed at the sight of your parking spot). Still- even the best of friends have their issues and right now I have a bone to pick with you.

Okay, first, I have to ask. Did someone sleep with your wife (wait do you even have a wife?), kick your dog, slap your mom, or key your car recently? Because the way you are treating the residents of Tree Hill lately makes me worry about your emotional state of mind.

First-Naley. Okay, now this one isn't completely your fault. I know James decided he could not wait another year to pursue his love of travel and making useless online travel shows and that's why he is only available for a certain number of episodes. Still- I am thoroughly disappointed in the lack of Naley cuteness we have seen thus far. And it all comes back to the fact that Nate apparently got kidnapped by Russian basketball mobsters. Yes, you read that right. I know, right? SERIOUSLY??!! Mark I know you are a fan of unrealistic storylines (i.e. Crazy Nanny Carrie, stoned heart-eating dogs); but still, come on. Like REALLY?! I wouldn't care so much had it only lasted like 2 episodes, but this is getting old. We haven't seen James' perfect face or muscles in days, and when we do, he has a buzz haircut (ughh, but again not your fault). However, I am enjoying Dan and Haley teaming up and the humorous storyline of last week where Haley acted like a hooker ("Go give Deb her clothes back"-hehe).

Now- Bruilan. First of all, kudos for casting the cutest babies on the planet (Davis Baker is my personal fave.) But the Julian forgetting the carseat storyline- completely unnecessary. Sensitive Julian worries enough as it is, no need to make him even more upset. And I hated seeing his sweet face get wailed on in that one eppie. And now, stalker Xavier back? And creeping in their house holding the adorable Davis? Not cool dude. If he hurts one hair on Davis' cute head he will have to deal with an extremely angry Brooke and Julian AND me.

Now onto Clinn or Quay (whichever you prefer). I first thought that the whole sleepwalking storyline was extremely dull and stupid (Especially since it sent Nathan away again). But, as it has led to the adorable little Logan (giving season 5 Jamie a run for his money), I have accepted it. But seriously, you totes shouldn't have dyed that kid's hair. Looks weird and extremely unnatural.

What else... Fat Mouth-enough said. Chris Keller- just funny enough to keep me entertained and amused. Chase and Chuck- cute but the whole lead pipe thing was unnecessary. Chase totes would've gone to jail anyway b.t. dubs because that was wayy more than self-defense but whatevs.

So, in conclusion. Please give me my Naley back asap. Keep crazy Xavier away from cute Baker boys, and give Logan and Jamie an adorable kids scene (because they both are sooo cute).

Love,
Mel

P.S. You totes got Jimmy Edwards' death date wrong.